You’ve certainly heard the phrase “no man is an island”. It is a quotation that comes from a sermon by the seventeenth century English author John Donne, where he said that “No man is an Island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the Continent, a part of the main.” In simple terms, it means that no one is self-sufficient, that human beings depend on one another.
I truly believe that no one understands this better that Dale Carnegie who spent a great deal of his work on teaching people how to get along. Today, the ability to deal with, influence, lead and arouse enthusiasm in people has a lot of influence on the position you can hold at a job or how much money you get paid.
In today’s world, no matter how many degrees you earned or how much knowledge you have, you are almost doomed to fail if you can not influence and lead people. In this post I am sharing keys principles that will elevate you in the people skills department. These principles are taught by Mr. Carnegie in “How to Win Friends And Influence People” which I had the tremendous opportunity to read for the first time back in 1991 and it made a great impact on my life throughout the years. Unless you are living in a cave, it is my humble opinion that this book is a must read. Another book that is considered by many experts as a modern version of Carnegie’s masterpiece, is “Never Eat Alone” by Keith Ferrazzi, you should check it out as well.
Fundamental Techniques in Handling People
1. Don’t criticize.
2. Give honest and sincere appreciation.
3. Arouse in the other person an eager want.
Six ways to make people like you
1. Become genuinely interested in other people.
3. Remember a person’s name.
4. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
5. Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
6. Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely.
Win people to your way of thinking
1. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
2. Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say, “You’re wrong.”
3. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
4. Begin in a friendly way.
5. Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately.
6. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
7. Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
8. Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.
9. Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.
10. Appeal to the nobler motives. 11. Dramatize your ideas.
12. Throw down a challenge.
Be a Leader
1. Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
2. Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.
3. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
4. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
5. Let the other person save face.
6. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement.
7. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
8. Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
9. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.